Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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