Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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