I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
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