YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
