My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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