How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
