she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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