So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
