you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
