Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
