While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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