Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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