WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
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they call him Oral-B. enough said
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
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I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.