Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
