i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
