Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
