So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
