Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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