the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
