now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
