U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
