but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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