is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize