ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize