Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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