I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
