toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize