At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize