I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
