their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
