Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
