Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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