i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
