my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
