a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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