Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
