please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
