I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
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The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I lost the right to judge tonight
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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