Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
