idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
