I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
