how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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