There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
