my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
