Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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