in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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