i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
