K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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