pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
