She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
