I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's shark week go big or go home
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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