my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
