I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i barfeds in our rink
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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