Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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