her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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