can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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