i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
