After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
