you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She even gives head with a lisp.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
