STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
