theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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