I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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