And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize