Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.