I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up